Sorry if that’s a bit harsh. Blowjob sex And i can’t even tell whos talking half the time i can barly read this 1/10READERReport 2006-09-15 18:47:39Not bad, although you need to improve the wording and the typos in your story, that’d make it much smoother to read. It kind of sounds like a middle schooler is writing it a bit. It kind of sounds like a middle schooler is writing it a bit. Sorry if that’s a bit harsh. Also, I like how you added paragraphs in this one, but you still had that massive chunk of an ending, Try splitting it up and adding more detail.«12» 6 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2011-08-10 23:05:17As they say more please!!!anonymous readerReport 2010-09-15 09:35:32This is a great story!! Also, I like how you added paragraphs in this one, but you still had that massive chunk of an ending, Try splitting it up and adding more detail.«12»
