The breaks with ID could help, maintain the rotation through the characters. Blowjob sex Top marks from me! CijaonehandedtypistReport 2011-03-07 16:35:46Fuck the complainers ssalo. I think I tried for too much when I tried to make the seperate thoughts read like dialogue in the first part. The breaks with ID could help, maintain the rotation through the characters. I think I tried for too much when I tried to make the seperate thoughts read like dialogue in the first part. CijaonehandedtypistReport 2011-03-07 16:35:46Fuck the complainers ssalo. I’ll try to write the sex if I can’t avoid it. All of your comments are my big thing, thank you again.hornyelkReport 2011-03-10 19:05:57I liked the changing viewpoints, which at first were a bit unclear. Good writing, interesting plot, incest handled in a way that kept me reading,. lol
horny-I think maintaining a rotation through the characters is a good idea and ID’ing each POV change would probabily been the biggest improvement. Top marks from me!
